The air was thick with steam from the roads, a common sight on the New York streets. All around, the blaring choir of car horns performed in unison, drowning out the voices of the ever-chatting manhattanites walking by. The smell of fumes were fresh in his nostrils but it's what he was used to, just an average night out in New York.
Frank loved these moments, getting a breath of the city air in his lungs, before filling them with the smoke from his favourite cigarettes. Frank stood confidently in his black trilby hat, a long coat that gave him that suspicious mafia look and spit-shined shoes. He had no qualms about over-the-top appearance, nor did he care that he was blowing his smoke into the faces of passers-by. Nothing had taken his focus away from his cigarette until he spotted the most breath-taking sight of all. A young, twenty-something year old woman passed by him as she left the same club Frank has been in. Her lingering breeze that delicately stroked his face as she walked by sent a shiver through his whole body. Suddenly, his cigarette wasn't important anymore as he watched her float by towards a yellow taxi parked along the curb. He watched intently as her blonde hair danced on the wind, looking as though it was going to take off at any moment. She was clutching at a brown, leather briefcase with one hand, and holding her coat gaping open in the increasing breeze with the other.
An intriguing beginning Lucy. There is potential here. Careful not to 'tell' us too much, such as where we are, how old people are etc. 'Show' us instead, with clues from the scene itself. Continuing to engage with the senses is a good way of doing this. What can you see/hear/smell/touch etc in the scene that will show us where we are. Give the reader some work to do.
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